Beautifully written and so well researched. The scope!
At the time of hearing about it, I was so confused by Lana Del Rey's weird rant that claimed women of color have it easier in the music industry. Hun, you're a premier engine of 'I enjoy bad men and their violence' ballads...if that's your niche, go off, but don't expect no one will have anything to say about it.
I'm sure she has worked hard, but she also started off very rich, only to...become more rich. Some of her music is plain poverty porn. I would never claim to understand other races' experiences, but I won't presume to speak for them and I'll keep working to get as close to understanding as I can. And offer them chances to speak for themselves, if I can.
All women know what it's like to be othered, but not all experiences of being othered are the same, or as severe or omnipresent.
I like the way you linked white girl sad privilege with capitalism; a very timely point.
Also, you made me think hard about victimhood. The state of being of it and the actions of it. Maybe it can seem like a form of resistance to wallow in it, but that doesn't do much good beyond aesthetics, does it? I'm very annoyed that people without PTSD have co-opted the word 'triggered' to dilution. But it's so hard to be a 'strong' victim, the 'right kind' of victim; we judge so harshly those who speak out about oppression and abuse. Way more harshly than we judge the abuser whose actions were egregious in the first place. I could keep babbling but I'll put a cork in it. I have no overarching conclusions, other than to do better myself and keep finding new voices to listen to. Please keep writing :)
Love this! I love how you spoke about the dichotomy between privilege and victim hood- it’s something that I really think people need to be more open to talking about honestly, hard agree on everything you wrote
Elise Hu talks about moving from male gaze to "tech gaze". I interview her on my podcast. I wrote that and then read onto the rest of your article. I agree with a lot of what you say and I too am annoyed by the white girl sad thing and never related to Lena Dunham or many of the white women you mention but I am white and I am a woman, a 51 year old woman single mom raising girls with a Jewish father now deceased and a gentile disordred mother who I dont speak to. I'm a person like you're a person with a lot of different experiences. I know rich people. I know privilege. I know fear of poverty and scarcity. I'm not one group. I dont feel like I always belong or ever really honestly. I clicked on all the links and was trying to decipher how you felt about the "oppression Olympics" and white woman villainy because I'm honestly sick of it. It reminds me of the scapegoating of Jews. I might not like a lot of highly visible white women at all but they are just other people that I have nothing to do with. This struck me: "someone’s view of the world that negates your existence". I don't think that should be a truth for anyone. Not all white women are living on easy street with an infinite blue sky. It just isn't the case. There's got to be a better way. I'm way more interested in stories by people with more complex experiences who had some form of struggle that made them define themselves. I am also annoyed by the white woman (for instance) in my neighborhood who called herself a witch, thought she was all spiritual and "woke" and shit and wanted to hold "anti-racist" self exploration meetings during the pandemic which I'm 100% sure she's completely forgotten about now and was just suddenly interested in reading Ibram X. Kendi because it was trendy after George Floyd but at at the same time I'm sick of the hatred toward white women too and not just because I am white but because women have it shitty. different kind of shitty than black women or black men but shitty. not the totally annoying nepo babies but yeah them too i guess. i just wonder how you felt about this. i cant really tell.
your writing is so amazing, amazing, amazing. having lived on the periphery of a lot of the internet phenomenons you mentioned (mainly because i came of age in 2017, not 2013, and was chronically on stan twitter rather than tumblr), i was lucky enough to inherit a marginally more holistic internet activism culture that was accompanied by my own reading & upbringing. that being said, the remnants of Sad White Girl hegemony definitely shaped my teen years and made me think my suffering needed to be artful and digestible to others-- so much so that I wanted (or needed) to cultivate suffering to feel like i had something to say. you articulated so well my feeling that this is such a dangerous path for white women to follow, as it tends to uphold their imagined victimizations and silo their experiences into a 'type-of-girl' (or, commodified identity), which simultaneously erases the systemic pain and trauma my women peers of color were subjugated to. i don't want womanhood to be a crutch in the way some white feminists operate. thanks for writing!
This is really incredible. I'm certainly not intellectual enough to do justice to it right now in the comments, and I would like to write down stuff about it maybe later but it's so well thought and worded out. Yes yes yes!! U smartypants
This is the most ridiculous low self esteem non sense i have ever read at least so far today as all you left wing lunatics just continue to one up your selves in that department and an fyi that symbol in your comment is used by child rapists to id themselves online if you doubt me check the fbi website wake up all of wake up
hihi ur writing is so beautiful . ughhh i haven’t written here in ages but if u can will u let me know ur thoughts on my upload from today🩷🩷❤️❤️also want to make connections in writers community hehe
This is an old piece I republished and it’s reportage about a certain era. I am personally a huge Girls fan and was not of the chorus of people who trafficked Lewinsky-levels of shame and humiliation into Lena’s life, scapegoating her for every social ill. I love her art and have a pretty pragmatic POV about her as a person despite how she failed my friend Aurora.
I don’t think you represented my perspective accurately here but I know it’s not coming from a malicious place.
Self-effacing by never acknowledging disparity is not the strategy I am using to accrue personal and professional power for myself. I respect if that is the strategy you’ve chosen, though.
Being fixated on disparity is self effacing, I would never define myself by what i feel disparaged by. Anyway thank you for indulging me and i apologize if i misunderstood your work.
Beautifully written and so well researched. The scope!
At the time of hearing about it, I was so confused by Lana Del Rey's weird rant that claimed women of color have it easier in the music industry. Hun, you're a premier engine of 'I enjoy bad men and their violence' ballads...if that's your niche, go off, but don't expect no one will have anything to say about it.
I'm sure she has worked hard, but she also started off very rich, only to...become more rich. Some of her music is plain poverty porn. I would never claim to understand other races' experiences, but I won't presume to speak for them and I'll keep working to get as close to understanding as I can. And offer them chances to speak for themselves, if I can.
All women know what it's like to be othered, but not all experiences of being othered are the same, or as severe or omnipresent.
I like the way you linked white girl sad privilege with capitalism; a very timely point.
Also, you made me think hard about victimhood. The state of being of it and the actions of it. Maybe it can seem like a form of resistance to wallow in it, but that doesn't do much good beyond aesthetics, does it? I'm very annoyed that people without PTSD have co-opted the word 'triggered' to dilution. But it's so hard to be a 'strong' victim, the 'right kind' of victim; we judge so harshly those who speak out about oppression and abuse. Way more harshly than we judge the abuser whose actions were egregious in the first place. I could keep babbling but I'll put a cork in it. I have no overarching conclusions, other than to do better myself and keep finding new voices to listen to. Please keep writing :)
Love this! I love how you spoke about the dichotomy between privilege and victim hood- it’s something that I really think people need to be more open to talking about honestly, hard agree on everything you wrote
I loved this essay! Really eye-opening. I love how you handled the topic as well.
Elise Hu talks about moving from male gaze to "tech gaze". I interview her on my podcast. I wrote that and then read onto the rest of your article. I agree with a lot of what you say and I too am annoyed by the white girl sad thing and never related to Lena Dunham or many of the white women you mention but I am white and I am a woman, a 51 year old woman single mom raising girls with a Jewish father now deceased and a gentile disordred mother who I dont speak to. I'm a person like you're a person with a lot of different experiences. I know rich people. I know privilege. I know fear of poverty and scarcity. I'm not one group. I dont feel like I always belong or ever really honestly. I clicked on all the links and was trying to decipher how you felt about the "oppression Olympics" and white woman villainy because I'm honestly sick of it. It reminds me of the scapegoating of Jews. I might not like a lot of highly visible white women at all but they are just other people that I have nothing to do with. This struck me: "someone’s view of the world that negates your existence". I don't think that should be a truth for anyone. Not all white women are living on easy street with an infinite blue sky. It just isn't the case. There's got to be a better way. I'm way more interested in stories by people with more complex experiences who had some form of struggle that made them define themselves. I am also annoyed by the white woman (for instance) in my neighborhood who called herself a witch, thought she was all spiritual and "woke" and shit and wanted to hold "anti-racist" self exploration meetings during the pandemic which I'm 100% sure she's completely forgotten about now and was just suddenly interested in reading Ibram X. Kendi because it was trendy after George Floyd but at at the same time I'm sick of the hatred toward white women too and not just because I am white but because women have it shitty. different kind of shitty than black women or black men but shitty. not the totally annoying nepo babies but yeah them too i guess. i just wonder how you felt about this. i cant really tell.
Link me to your pod! 💕
https://actualpeople.buzzsprout.com/ I have so many thoughts on this. And here's the Elise Hu piece https://open.spotify.com/episode/1hDVdFyo6o45i5Bl3C9XDA?si=6ad612bbe30240eb linked on Spotify and my own dissection of beauty in my own upbringing https://open.spotify.com/episode/0R4ZJDdUgdrIZAwyJwaN1v
your writing is so amazing, amazing, amazing. having lived on the periphery of a lot of the internet phenomenons you mentioned (mainly because i came of age in 2017, not 2013, and was chronically on stan twitter rather than tumblr), i was lucky enough to inherit a marginally more holistic internet activism culture that was accompanied by my own reading & upbringing. that being said, the remnants of Sad White Girl hegemony definitely shaped my teen years and made me think my suffering needed to be artful and digestible to others-- so much so that I wanted (or needed) to cultivate suffering to feel like i had something to say. you articulated so well my feeling that this is such a dangerous path for white women to follow, as it tends to uphold their imagined victimizations and silo their experiences into a 'type-of-girl' (or, commodified identity), which simultaneously erases the systemic pain and trauma my women peers of color were subjugated to. i don't want womanhood to be a crutch in the way some white feminists operate. thanks for writing!
This is really incredible. I'm certainly not intellectual enough to do justice to it right now in the comments, and I would like to write down stuff about it maybe later but it's so well thought and worded out. Yes yes yes!! U smartypants
another wonderful and well written piece!
beautiful beautiful beautiful. entranced by every word, truly had my gears turning. you’re so gifted. 🌀🤍
This is the most ridiculous low self esteem non sense i have ever read at least so far today as all you left wing lunatics just continue to one up your selves in that department and an fyi that symbol in your comment is used by child rapists to id themselves online if you doubt me check the fbi website wake up all of wake up
huh😃
the way i literally jus returned to this piece recently too
Yes. yes. yes.
princess babygirl i love you but are you okay... because a lot of this is v out of touch and kind of insane.
hihi ur writing is so beautiful . ughhh i haven’t written here in ages but if u can will u let me know ur thoughts on my upload from today🩷🩷❤️❤️also want to make connections in writers community hehe
i feel like princess habibi girl would have worked well.
This is an old piece I republished and it’s reportage about a certain era. I am personally a huge Girls fan and was not of the chorus of people who trafficked Lewinsky-levels of shame and humiliation into Lena’s life, scapegoating her for every social ill. I love her art and have a pretty pragmatic POV about her as a person despite how she failed my friend Aurora.
I don’t think you represented my perspective accurately here but I know it’s not coming from a malicious place.
Respectfully, I disagree. I respect your opinion, though, and I really appreciate the critical feedback. 🤍🩵🤍
Self-effacing by never acknowledging disparity is not the strategy I am using to accrue personal and professional power for myself. I respect if that is the strategy you’ve chosen, though.
Being fixated on disparity is self effacing, I would never define myself by what i feel disparaged by. Anyway thank you for indulging me and i apologize if i misunderstood your work.