this is great. you really are getting at the heart of how the external environment....
when we become hyper-aware of how we're seen, and how that constant exposure can turn life into a performance, where "true" privacy and authenticity are hard to "feel."
(i put quotes around this words because they feel loaded in this context.)
it's fascinating how online platforms like TikTok create a sense of belonging, even for those who weren't 'there' during a cultural moment. we are often filtering this consumption alone with our own constructed identity. and it feels like the internet has blurred the lines between experience and observation...
just watching something happen can feel like being part of it. but in this digital age, our identities are often shaped more by consumption than by real-world experiences.
we are essentially turning the hyperreal into the default mode of being.
I’m always so happy to read your writing—the awkwardness and uncertainty of in-person community, the search for coolness and defined taste online, and the fear that all that effort was, in the end, maybe just about consumption and not enough about community. Your essay contains so many conflicted feelings about online/offline belonging! Thanks for this.
i really admire how this essay moves, spatially and temporally, which itself is kinda meta because of what it’s about. we live in this era of context collapse, in which it can be cathartic to totally dunk on some IDIOT online (or in-person!), and more often than not overwhelming as hell to be online and witness more contextless content than our addled brains can process.
we also yearn for some way to define ourselves in terms of a style or movement so that we can belong to something, or at least feel like we do. and maybe because this seems attainable (after all, everyone else looks so good in their insta photo dumps), we don’t allow ourselves to learn and change and grow in our confidence and taste independent of everything else that’s out
there. at the end of the day, everything is fleeting, but we don’t wanna let go.
Pointing out the "panic around legitimacy" is huge. There are expressions of this sort of cultural credentialism everywhere. Insularity and keeping out the rabble.
I, for one, am most definitely stinking up the place. Under-dressed and late to the party. I'm just now becoming aware of the panic you referenced. Good thing, too. I might have talked myself out of showing up if I had been aware of the qualifiers.
I physically twitched reading this "All the people who hurt us are complicated in the same way, sacrificing in both directions as the lamb and the butcher." because I think:
* I felt the blend of loneliness-tempered hope-fright-indignance of being in a group therapy setting
* the duality of man, rarely do people abuse for the pleasure of it, most of the time from mismatched, unheard desires intersecting with deep personal dysregulation
* I cite this in my review of 'Death and Life' by Klimt placed around the opening line of Anna Karenina, playing with the sameness of sorrow against the thrill of being alive, because simply to live content is so not like other girls rn
I loved how neatly you encapsulate online-nostalgia: belonging, participation, fear of participation, less presence and awareness of the moment that could come from literally participating in indie sleaze vs. feeling like you did because you saw party photography on Tumblr in 2008…
Another millenial Minneapolitan who grew up on 46th and Chicago. You nailed the young-woman-in-public experience of feeling eyes on you all the time and constantly assessing their impact/intention/value. Is that a Midwest thing or a girl thing or an outsider thing or all of those?
Your essay is so rich. I feel like there is also a crunch, a collapse between local real life and this online over sharing. A good friend of mine once told me about the power of ˋheart to heart’ conversations and at first I did not get it. Now I appreciate and cherish this simple, genuinely nice chats, which will remain for most of it offline or in one’s mine.
this is great. you really are getting at the heart of how the external environment....
when we become hyper-aware of how we're seen, and how that constant exposure can turn life into a performance, where "true" privacy and authenticity are hard to "feel."
(i put quotes around this words because they feel loaded in this context.)
it's fascinating how online platforms like TikTok create a sense of belonging, even for those who weren't 'there' during a cultural moment. we are often filtering this consumption alone with our own constructed identity. and it feels like the internet has blurred the lines between experience and observation...
just watching something happen can feel like being part of it. but in this digital age, our identities are often shaped more by consumption than by real-world experiences.
we are essentially turning the hyperreal into the default mode of being.
I’m always so happy to read your writing—the awkwardness and uncertainty of in-person community, the search for coolness and defined taste online, and the fear that all that effort was, in the end, maybe just about consumption and not enough about community. Your essay contains so many conflicted feelings about online/offline belonging! Thanks for this.
I love reading you, too, Celine! I appreciate this comment sm.
i really admire how this essay moves, spatially and temporally, which itself is kinda meta because of what it’s about. we live in this era of context collapse, in which it can be cathartic to totally dunk on some IDIOT online (or in-person!), and more often than not overwhelming as hell to be online and witness more contextless content than our addled brains can process.
we also yearn for some way to define ourselves in terms of a style or movement so that we can belong to something, or at least feel like we do. and maybe because this seems attainable (after all, everyone else looks so good in their insta photo dumps), we don’t allow ourselves to learn and change and grow in our confidence and taste independent of everything else that’s out
there. at the end of the day, everything is fleeting, but we don’t wanna let go.
Pointing out the "panic around legitimacy" is huge. There are expressions of this sort of cultural credentialism everywhere. Insularity and keeping out the rabble.
I, for one, am most definitely stinking up the place. Under-dressed and late to the party. I'm just now becoming aware of the panic you referenced. Good thing, too. I might have talked myself out of showing up if I had been aware of the qualifiers.
I physically twitched reading this "All the people who hurt us are complicated in the same way, sacrificing in both directions as the lamb and the butcher." because I think:
* I felt the blend of loneliness-tempered hope-fright-indignance of being in a group therapy setting
* the duality of man, rarely do people abuse for the pleasure of it, most of the time from mismatched, unheard desires intersecting with deep personal dysregulation
* I cite this in my review of 'Death and Life' by Klimt placed around the opening line of Anna Karenina, playing with the sameness of sorrow against the thrill of being alive, because simply to live content is so not like other girls rn
I loved how neatly you encapsulate online-nostalgia: belonging, participation, fear of participation, less presence and awareness of the moment that could come from literally participating in indie sleaze vs. feeling like you did because you saw party photography on Tumblr in 2008…
You are a beautiful writer for a strange time!
Thank my dear. Adore you. You make this life worth it.
I just saw this on a day I really needed to GOD BLESS YOU ily <3
Another millenial Minneapolitan who grew up on 46th and Chicago. You nailed the young-woman-in-public experience of feeling eyes on you all the time and constantly assessing their impact/intention/value. Is that a Midwest thing or a girl thing or an outsider thing or all of those?
i really rly rlyyyyy loved this one. woof!!!!
SOOOOOOOOO FUCKINGGGGGG GOOOOOODDDD OMFGGGG
Yes! This hits on some really salient points.
<3
Love this, Safy. 💖
Ty! <3
❤️
Your essay is so rich. I feel like there is also a crunch, a collapse between local real life and this online over sharing. A good friend of mine once told me about the power of ˋheart to heart’ conversations and at first I did not get it. Now I appreciate and cherish this simple, genuinely nice chats, which will remain for most of it offline or in one’s mine.
drop da crustpunk pics